Friday, September 28, 2007

...Wisdom...

Things I Have Learnt
By John Piper
March 28, 2007

Since my father died on March 6, I have been looking through his papers. I found a small sheet with the following fifteen counsels, titled “Things I Have Learned.” He didn't make most of these up. Some of them go back to his college days when he was absorbing the pithy wisdom of Bob Jones Senior. They have again confirmed the obvious: I owe my father more than I can ever remember. The comment after each one is mine.

Things I Have Learned

1. The right road always leads to the right place; therefore, get on the right road and go as far as you can on it.

My father was totally persuaded that wrong means do not lead to right ends. Or, more positively, he was persuaded that living in the right way—that is, doing the right things—are means that inevitably lead to where God wants us to be. This is why he told me, when I asked about God’s leading in my life, “Son, keep the room clean where you are, and in God’s time, the door to the next room will open.”

2. There is only one thing to do about anything; that is the right thing. Do right.

This is what one might say to a person perplexed by a difficult situation whose outcome is unknown. The person might say, “I just don’t know what to do about this.” It is not useless to be told: Do the right thing. That may not tell you exactly which good thing to do, but it does clear the air and rule out a few dozen bad ideas.

3. Happiness is not found by looking for it. You stumble over happiness on the road to duty.

My, my, my. How was John Piper born from this? I would never say this. The main reason is that the Bible commands us to pursue our joy repeatedly. “Rejoice in the Lord, and again I say rejoice.” “Delight yourself in the Lord.” I think what he meant was: 1) Joy is always in something. Joy itself is not the something. So we seek joy in Christ. Not just joy in general. 2) When duty is hard and we do not feel joy in doing it, we should still do it, and pray that in the doing it the joy would be given. But what we need to make plain is that duty cannot be contrasted with joy, because joy is a biblical duty.

4. The door to success swings on the hinges of opposition.

Remarkably, this saying implies that opposition is not just a natural accompaniment or antecedent of success, but that it is a means by which the door opens. One can think of many biblical examples. The opposition of Joseph’s brothers opened the door to his leadership in Egypt. The taxing of the empire opened the door to getting the Messiah born in Bethlehem, not Nazareth, and thus fulfilling prophecy. The betrayal of Judas opened the door to the salvation of the world.

5. God in the right place in my life fixes every other relationship of life (Matthew 6:33).

I wonder if this was tucked away in my mind so that unknown to me it controlled my analogy of the solar system to our many-faceted lives. If God is the blazing center of the solar system of our lives, then all the planets will be held in their proper orbit. But if not, everything goes awry.

6. It is never right to get the right thing in the wrong way—like good grades, wealth, power, position. Don’t sacrifice your principles.

Again, he hammers away at don’t use bad means for good ends. Be a principled, not a pragmatic, person. O how we need to hear this today. Churches need to be principled, not endlessly adapting to culture. Persons need to make a promise and keep it no matter how much it hurts.

7. It is a sin to do less than your best. It is wrong to do [merely] well.

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might” (Ecclesiastes 9:10 ). But be careful. Sometimes the “best” is a B+ sermon and spending time with your child. In other words, “best” always involves more decisions than the one you are making at the moment. That one means many other things are being left undone. So “best” is always the whole thing, not just the detail of the moment.

8. It is wrong to be yoked to one who refuses the yoke of Christ.

Don’t marry an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:39). Not all relationships with unbelievers are ruled out. Otherwise we could not obey Jesus’ command to love them and bless them. But “yoke” implies a connectedness that either governs where we go or constrains where they go. And you cannot constrain faith in Jesus. It is free.

9. The part of your character that is deficient is the part that needs attention.

This is the counterpoint to the advice: Go with your strengths. There is truth in both. Yes, be encouraged by every evidence of God’s grace in your life, and use your gifts and graces for his glory. But you will become smug and vain if you do not keep your deficiencies before you and work on them.

10. Don’t quit. Finish the job. God can’t use a quitter.

Warning: “He who endures to the end will be saved” (Mark 13:13). Promise: “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).

11. Anything you do that hinders your progress for God is wrong.

O how thankful I am that this was the dominant way my father pressed me to pursue my sanctification. He did not mainly impose lists of don’ts on me, though we had them. And they were clear. Mainly he said: Maximize your progress in knowing and serving God. That ruled out a hundred foolish behaviors, some bad and some uselessly innocent.

12. Beware of any society in which you feel compelled to put a bushel over your testimony.

This implies that you can go into a group of people who are evil if you are willing to open your mouth and take a stand for Jesus and righteousness. Nevertheless, 1 Corinthians 15:33 stands: “Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company ruins good morals.’”

13. It isn’t enough to be good. Be good for something. The essence of Christianity is not a passionless purity.

This is what I have meant in talking about a merely avoidance ethic. Don’t just think of righteousness or holiness in terms of what you avoid, but what you do. As my father said in another place: Don’t be a don’ter; be a doer.

14. Positive living produces negative effect[s].

This is wise counsel that affirmation of the good always implies negation of the bad. If you think you can live your life without negating anything, you have lost touch with reality. “Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good” (Romans 12:9). You cannot love without hating what hurts the beloved.

15. Learn to be sweetly firm.

This was what he said to my mother over the phone when she was exasperated with her one disobedient son: Be sweet and firm. I think she succeeded.
With abiding and deep thankfulness for my father’s wisdom,

Pastor John

posted by Anna @ 12:25 PM   0 Comments

...Sermon of the day...



Sermon: How to do good so that God gets the glory?
By John Piper
August 3, 1980


In the year AD 42, Herod, king in Judea, killed the apostle James with a sword. When he saw it pleased the Jews, he threw Peter, another apostle, in prison. The night before Herod was about to dispose of him an angel of the Lord woke Peter and led him out of the prison unharmed. After going to the house of Mary, the mother of John Mark, where the disciples were praying for him, Peter left town.


The next morning Herod was enraged that Peter was gone and had the guards put to death. Then he left Judea and went down to the coastal town of Caesarea where a very strange and terrible and instructive thing happened. Herod had a grudge against the people of Tyre and Sidon—we don't know why. But at the same time he had them over a barrel because they were dependent on him for food. So holding the purse strings like he did, Herod enjoyed making himself scarce and watching the people be pinched. It gave him a great sense of power to have others so dependent on him.So the people of Tyre and Sidon tried to get an audience with King Herod by going through his personal chamberlain named Blastus. This attempt succeeded and a day was appointed for King Herod to make an appearance and an oration. The rest of the story is very brief. It is recorded in Acts 12:21–23: "On an appointed day Herod put on his royal robes, took his seat upon the throne and made an oration to them. And the people shouted: The voice of God and not of man! Immediately an angel of the Lord struck him because he did not give God the glory and he was eaten by worms and died."

Not everyone who tries to deceive God like Ananias and Sapphira in Acts 5 drops dead on the spot. Not everyone who fails to give God glory like Herod is eaten by worms. But God has brought such judgments upon some in this life to warn us all that in the age to come there is a judgment which will be infinitely more severe upon those who have not lived for God's glory.
The Goal of God's Glory

Last Sunday we saw from Isaiah 43:7 that God's great goal in creating and governing the world was to be glorified. That is, he created us for his glory. Not to increase the beauty of his perfections or fill up some emptiness in God, but rather to display his glory in the way we live and to win praise for himself. Isaiah 48:9–11 drove the shaft of God's glory deep into our minds:"For my own sake I defer my anger, for the sake of my praise I restrain it for you that I may not cut you off. Behold I have refined you, but not like silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake I do it, for how should my name be profaned? My glory I will not give to another." To maintain the honor of his name and display his glory—these are the driving motives in all that God does in history, in the church, and in individual lives.

At the end of last week's message two crucial questions remained:1) How do we bring our lives into alignment with this goal of God to glorify himself?—a tremendously crucial question in view of what God did to Herod when he failed to give God glory but took it for himself.2) The second question was: Why is it loving and not selfish for God to seek his own glory in all he does, especially since we are commanded not to seek our own glory among men?Since we don't want to treat the Lord's table in a hurried or pressured way, I have decided to answer only the first question today and the second one next Sunday.

The three small texts that were read earlier from Matthew (5:14–16), 1 Peter (4:10, 11), and Romans (4:20) contain the answer to how we must live so as to be at one with God's purpose and not at cross purposes with him.

How We Bring Glory to Our Heavenly Father

Jesus said in Matthew 5:16, "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven."Three observations go a long way to answering our question. First, Jesus clearly commands that the goal of our lives should be to behave so that God gets the glory. Live so that men will see your life and give your Father in heaven glory, not you. So it should be very clear that glorifying God is not merely an act of worship on Sunday. It is a peculiar kind of living.
Second, in order for God to get glory from the way we live, we must be engaged in good deeds. It is not so much by avoiding gross sins that God's people display his glory, but rather in the pursuit of good deeds, acts of generosity, works of kindness, ways of love. Since it is God's goal to be glorified in his people, and since Jesus says this happens when his people do good deeds, we would expect the Bible to tell us that God's goal in redeeming a people is that they might do good deeds. And this is exactly what we find. Paul says in Titus 2:14 that Christ "gave himself for us to redeem us from all iniquity and to purify for himself a people of his own who are zealous for good deeds." Christ died that we might do good deeds and so bring glory to our Father in heaven.

God created us for his glory, says the prophet. We bring him glory through our good deeds, says the Lord Jesus. So we are not surprised when we hear the apostle say, God created us for good deeds. Ephesians 2:10: "We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good deeds, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Created for his glory, and created for good deeds, because it is by our good deeds that God gets glory.
One final observation from Matthew 5. It is possible to be a kind of do-gooder that brings no glory to God. There are philanthropists and benefactors and others who for one reason or another spend time and money to alleviate suffering, but who may not even believe in God let alone do it all for his glory. So when Jesus says, Let your light shine that men may see your good deeds and glorify God, the light must include more than the mere action of the good deed. "You are the light of the world!" (5:14). Not just your bodily motions but your attitude and your motivation also. There is a spirit from which the good deeds must flow if they are to bring God glory and so be pleasing to him. That is why I entitled the sermon for this morning, "How to Do Good So God Gets the Glory."

Serving in the Strength That God Supplies

To answer that question, we turn to 1 Peter 4:10, 11. Probably no other New Testament book besides James reflects an acquaintance with the teachings of Jesus as clearly as 1 Peter. In 2:12, Peter gives a loose quotation of Matthew 5:16, "Maintain good conduct among the Gentiles so that in case they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation." But in chapter 4, verses 10 and 11, Peter shows more explicitly what it is about the good deeds of Christians that makes them a means to God's glory.

He says:As each has received a gift, employ it for one another as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks (let him speak) as one who utters oracles of God; whoever renders service (let him render it) as one who renders it by the strength which God supplies, in order that in everything God might be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Here we have one of the clearest answers in the Bible to the question: How do we serve or do good so that God gets the glory? The answer is, in order for God to get the glory we have to do good as one does it who is depending on God's strength. Not mere good deeds, but good deeds done in a spirit that comes from a joyful dependence on God's help—this is what glorifies God.Picture two people this afternoon pondering whether to come help clean the church tomorrow night. One is young and healthy and says, "O, I suppose I'll go. Be worth a few brownie points with the leaders. Maybe they'll have some snacks. Besides, I'm pretty good at that sort of thing, maybe I can give the rest a few pointers." So he comes and he grumbles about the tools, he criticizes the way things are planned, he talks on and on about his abilities and his experience, and in general exudes a spirit of vanity. But he works. He may even get more done than some others. Some employers may want such a man if they judge him solely by his efficiency or productivity. But God looks on the heart and takes the whole man into account. And his assessment is: I have received no glory from this supposedly good deed of service, for it was not done in reliance on my power. There was not about it the spirit of joy and gratitude and humility that comes from being borne along on the wings of mercy.

But there is another person this afternoon who is planning his Monday night. He is older and has been quite ill lately—a good deal of pain and stiffness in the knees. There was a time when he worked hard in the church and loved every minute of it and never made a big to-do about inconvenience or sacrifice. "O," he thought to himself, "how I would love to help out on Monday night. I could encourage some of the downhearted maybe. Or maybe just keep the coffee poured." So he prayed. And lo and behold, Monday morning there was no pain and no stiffness. So he came. With bells on. He did what he could with a rag and broom and he did it well. But above all he exuded a joy and a sense of gratitude for life and strength that cheered everyone and pointed them to God. He knew that what strength he had was a precious gift of God, and his whole bearing and demeanor gave God the credit. That's what it means to let your light shine.But now here's the hooker. Everyone of us owes every ounce of strength we have to God, just as much as that sick man did. We owe every fiber of intelligence to God, and the slightest resolve to do good is a gift from him. Apart from him we are all cripples. And worse than cripples. We would fly into nothingness without his sustenance, and we would degenerate into devils without his grace. If the totality of our dependence on God would hit us full force, O, how differently we would live and do good. We would "serve as one who renders service by the strength which God supplies." We would not boast in our achievements, nor criticize the speck in our brother's eye, nor grumble about inconveniences, nor be presumptuous in any way, as if even existence itself could be taken for granted! No, a person who truly owns up to the fact that he exists by the word of God, that all his strength and moral resolve is a gift of God, that person will have a spirit of joy and gratitude and lowliness. And in serving this way God gets the glory.

O, how I want to make sure that the image in your mind of how to glorify God is not wrong. For many it's like waking up in the morning, looking up to God and saying, "You are worthy to be glorified today, Lord, and I will do my best." Then they look over and on their Bible is a big block of lead with shoulder straps. And on the block is inscribed: "The duty to glorify God all day." They strap it on, muster their strength and resolve, and head off to glorify God.

If that image, or one like it, is the way you feel about glorifying God, please look and see that 1 Peter 4:11 shatters such an image. May I suggest a more biblical image? There is a man, and I know him well (he is the husband of my wife and father to my sons), who wakes up in the morning and looks up into heaven and says, "You are worthy to be glorified today, Lord, but there is in me—that is in my flesh—no good thing. I have no strength, no wisdom, no resolve to do good but what comes undeserved from you, O God. And I love you. It would be to my greatest fulfillment, my highest pleasure, my richest treasure, my popcorn and my chocolate ice cream if at the end of this day I could believe that someone has come to cherish your power and wisdom and love more intensely because of me. God, let it be."And then he looks over and on his Bible there is this strange contraption of straps like a harness. And on the back of this harness there is a rope attached that runs up through the roof and into heaven. And he gets up, straps on the harness, gives a little jerk, leans into it, and God supports him all day. On the broad, brown leather strap across the front you can see the lettering: "My harness is easy and my burden is light."

God gets glory not from our heroic exertion but from our reliance upon his strength—when we serve as one who serves with the strength which God supplies.
God's will himself to glorify
Is not a weight to make us sigh
For it is wingsto make us fly.

This sermon is taken from Desiring God.

posted by Anna @ 12:11 PM   0 Comments

...whole day out...

We went to Climb Adventure in the morning and did stairs after lunch at Clementi. The rest of the day was spent in the ‘jungle’—that abandoned Malaysian railway track near to Rail Mall.

We had a great great time with each other swinging around in Climb Adventure in the morning---We told ourselves to come back there was often as we could---I got stuck half way through as I was ascending one of the rock walls---and I took so long to pull myself up that they threatened to tie the belaying rope onto the wall and leave for lunch...=) hahaha I was in the company of a whole bunch of really great people. And modelling in the air is really not a bad idea at all. I think the jungle wasn’t too bad, though it robbed me of a pair of socks so muddy that had to be disposed of afterward...I need to get more socks to prepare for the future hikes. =)Originally we planned to have an overnight hike...but perhaps day-long hike was good enough, considering Technical Training tomorrow in school.

I kept telling them during dinner that I really enjoyed being with them for the whole of today...Guess Matt was very amused...Eating pizza and trying out knots was great too. Wow, I am so blessed...I am so happy I don’t know where to hide my joy...it is spilling all over now. Hahahahaha. Just now Uncle Chee Khiam and auntie Lay Eng brought me out to Prata Cheese for supper---Banana Prata is good but I had to brush my teeth again...aiya!!!

Tomorrow is Friday, which is really good. Friday is good. Because it is meeting at SRC and then seeing my marketing people to complete the botox project and then coming home to study for mid-term tests which I haven’t started studying...Friday is good. Good. Good good good.

It is not because of all this that God is good. It is because God is good that I am alive. Being alive is enough. Having good things in life is a bonus, a dispensable bonus...of which I have to forever keep reminding myself. I am going to sleep now. I am going to pray for you first. The Lord bless you, darling.

posted by Anna @ 12:42 AM   0 Comments

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

...truth...

Tuesday tuesday tuesday tuesday prayer meeting...

--: Doesnt He then really mean business, real business?
--: Oh He sure does!
--: But I am so not ready yet as I am right now...isnt that scary?
--: Yes it is!
--: So how? I wake up everyday with jelousies, hatred, covetousness...Am I not in such a dispairing state?
--: You are!
--: Wouldnt one grow tired by the days?
--: One would, if she relies on her own strength.
--: What does it mean to surrender? Will I stop trying to be good?
--: No no, just think of that person whom you are envious with. Tell Him what you feel and ask Him to remove it from you every time you think of her.
--: What if He wont?
--: Just keep at doing it, He will.
--: I am scared.
--: He knows well that you are. Does that make any difference to you?

Yes it does make a world of difference to me...It keeps me sane through this everyday struggle. It enables me to smile in the face of sufferings, temptations and godlessness. It makes me the person I am going to be...It is my truth, my life, my hope, my joy, my strength, my sufficiency.

Happy birthday Meimei. 26 September '07. How does it feel being one of the beautiful people?

posted by Anna @ 11:34 PM   0 Comments

Sunday, September 23, 2007

...Letter from Hong Kong part V...

Hello Quynh Anh,

Thank you for your reply. It was so comforting I cried. Yesterday was a tough ordeal. Dressed in a suit we were grilled with all sorts of questions regarding commitment, what we understood about hall education, how we would contribute and how would we live in harmony with our hall and floor mates etc. It was entirely overnight. First time I ever tried staying up for the whole night. From 9.45 pm to 8.26 am this morning. It was amazing when it was this girl's turn and outside the window I could see the sky turn from dark to light. Effectively I'd been up 24 hours before I hit the bed again for another 2 hours of sleep. Then I had to get up because I had to finish my homework, then go to church later.

I'm thankful you wrote me a whole letter about God taking control in our lives. Actually when I said to take control of the things which I ought to take control of I didn't mean I was going to succeed in everything. I just felt that although I can't guarantee I'll always get off at the right stop and so on but at least I thought I owed the responsibility to God to make better use of my time by clarifying with the bus driver where I should stop first, when in doubt, ask and mark down deadlines conscientiously on my calendar, which I never bothered doing and as a result so much valuable time is wasted.

But I guess, on a second level, if I always did that and I always succeeded then maybe in the long run I would get a sense of self-satisfaction. So yes, bewilderment is humbling. And I suppose I must thank God for the ordeals that I go through. Like yesterday's mass orientation for example. I was standing in court shoes for 3 hours in a row, and another hour again, bombarded by questions. All the time I was wondering, 'But why? What's the rationale? Why do this at 4 am in the morning?' I must admit I'm now still not quite convinced about this hall education at HKU thing. A lot of people tell me that if my spiritual life is being affected I should quit. The funny thing is personally I'd like to but (I'm not so sure if it's true) I keep sensing that God would like me to carry on. It's as though there's something that he wants me to learn here, despite the overnight torture. Anyway halfway through the orientation process I thought of you and yes, it was really saddening because the atmosphere at that time was so different from what it feels like being with you. I strained to keep the tears in because my fellow freshman was on stage being bombarded by my seniors and my crying would have no correlation to what she was going through.

Whatever it is, I will remember to live my life by God's will. Thank you so much Quynh Anh.

Love,
Anna

posted by Anna @ 10:12 PM   0 Comments

Saturday, September 22, 2007

...who am I...

Who am I
by: Casting Crowns
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Jesus, you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

posted by Anna @ 1:17 AM   0 Comments

Friday, September 21, 2007

...Letter from Singapore Part II...

From: Quynh Anh
To: Anna
Singapore 22 September 07



Dearest Anna,

Surely you must have felt so displaced by the series of unexpected things that happened to you for the past few days...I guess being in a new place with the haunting sense of alienation doesnt help matters either. I dont know how close your experience is to my first experience in Singapore. I actually got lost pretty often, even after six months into the school year; and forgetting to meet deadlines was every day's business since I couldnt make out what the teachers were saying 90 percent of the time. I think we all do need to be overwhelmed by circumstances around us. I am going to explain why.

You said you have a duty to take control of things in your life. I am afraid I wont be able to agree with you on that. For who are we actually to be able to assume so great a duty? We tend to think that certain practical matters in everyday living are well within our control--thus we take it for granted that we should have no problems managing them. I think that is where we have been mistaken. I think that is where we push God out of the picture and live life as if we owned it. Remember that it is by God that everything is held together. It is by Him that our brain goes on functioning normally every sunshine day such that we remember our bus routes, our job list, our appointments. So stop blaming yourself when things go wrong. You were never expected to take control of events in your life. Be good steward of His time, money and talents. We do what we can. God will do the rest.

I know a lot of young people nowadays who live as if they owned their lives. The busy, packed-scheduled sort of people, you know them! They plan and set targets and move ahead in all areas in life. They get the sense of satisfaction and achievement and of course constant tiredness. They push God out altogether. Or maybe they dont acknowledge Him. Or maybe they have never heard of Him before. Whichever the case, I think as long as they continue with such a life-style, they are to be pitied more than any one else. Because the day will come when their talents and their success-induced self worth evaporate along with the temporary things of this world. The day will come when they have to stand naked in the palpable and immediate Presence in which they have always stood. Then the soul withers in that Presence for it has never learnt to rely on that Presence before. All along, the soul has been surviving on material things, met deadlines, realised targets, fulfilled expectations---These are definitely good things in themselves, coming from Him the God of glory who designs them for our enjoyment; but as far as eternity is concerned, these things can never be substitute for Him. Just as an engine is to be run on fuel, the soul is created to run on His Spirit.

Anna, this is just a reminder for you. I know you hold these truths as strongly and with as much conviction as I do. To be unhappy about how we messed things up is just human. But where did we first get the idea that things will not be messed up? Every day you are bombarded with distractions from every direction imaginable. The trick is to shut them all out and move ahead with the Word of God in your heart, to do whatever is right to Him. You dont need to be like the rest of them, always prepared, always confident, always in control. We were called to be servants of the Most High God---so keep up with the service. Do expect interruptions, for servants are the ones most likely to be bothered. Dont expect people to be nice, understanding and sympathetic...We were never called by Him to be bosses. Dont think that whatever you are capable of must turn out well. We own nothing, remember? But we must rejoice always, and give thanks in all circumstances.

I thank God for your eventful week, for it reminded us that we are not able to manage anything on our own. These hiccups save us from loving ourselves too much ( Which we too often do!). They help us to stay humble, and remind us to be thankful as well. I pray that you receive comfort where you are right now, and rest from the 'turmoil' that you went through. Our God is big enough darling! Sometimes our problems only grow bigger when God is growing smaller in our eyes. Let's do all we can to guard our hearts, for God doesnt change.

Boasting About Tomorrow
Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little why and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, " If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesnt do it, sins. James 4: 13-17

posted by Anna @ 11:50 PM   0 Comments

...Letter from Hong Kong part IV...


From Anna

To Quynh Anh

21 September '07


Hello Quynh Anh,


Although I previously typed you a long email, my week hasn't been exactly wonderful. Just finished writing a blog entry but I'll paste it here anyway so that you know how much I'm blundering. I feel like I'm losing control.


Series of unfortunate events:

Saturday: Rushed from hall to Mongkok to return overdue library books. The library closed, it was 5.20 pm. Initially planned on going home before church but was too late. Took bus 2A. Only realised 15 minutes later that I took the bus on the wrong side of the road and instead of going to church was heading home.

Monday: in a half-crazed mood I went back to To Kwa Wan to pick up the black dress needed for High Table Dinner on Wednesday, and immediately went back to hall. Spent 3 hours traveling. Bingo.

Also on Monday: went to see Miss regarding change of language course. Was informed that I missed the deadline on Friday which was written on the student pamphlet which I apparently did not read. Bummer.

Thursday: went to give tuition. Waited half an hour although I was running late by the same amount of time for the bus, 2 of which, full, passed through without stopping. Bus ride took another half hour. Got off at the wrong stop (not the terminal) and waited in vain for the equally anxious maid for half an hour. 1 and a 1/2 hours late for tuition. Bingo again.

On my way back to school for rehearsal for tomorrow’s show I didn’t get off at the right bus stop. Bus took a turn and went down the winding road to Central. Alighted and took the bus up again. But managed to get some apples and dinner along the way, it was already 8 plus and my head was aching. Felt better after eating.

Friday: woke up and as I passed through the pantry and looked at the white board I realised that my mass orientation was on today and clashed directly with the freshman show.

As if that wasn’t enough, trying to change my research and writing course online, I realised I missed the deadline which was, guess what? On Monday, the day when I tried to change my language course and was told I missed that deadline! The irony of it all…

will be heading to school to try to see what I can do about that, and probably be scolded as well. I’m probably immune by now, looking at that string of events. I am just shocked to the extent that I can feel no more. That is why a more rational person might be racing down to the bus stop now, but I’m here writing my events down instead. I need the cathartic effect to keep me sane.

I'm now really going to HKU's law office. Please pray for me. I don't really care what they say to me so long as my course works out in the end, which I think will, because it's a compulsory course. That isn't what needs praying. Please pray that God will help me to take better control of the things in my life that I have a duty to take control of.


Thanks.


God bless,

Anna


posted by Anna @ 1:02 PM   0 Comments

Thursday, September 20, 2007

...Mom, I love you...


Mom,

What did you do today? What time did you go to sleep? Did you rest well? I am writing this at the end of my day---it wasnt a long or tiring day, eventhough I am sick with a temperature slightly higher than usual. If I were at home perhaps you wouldnt allow me to stay up this late...I wouldnt allow myself either...I would seize every opportunity to get as much of your smell as possible by staying on your bed early in the evening and begging daddy to switch rooms with me for the night...Two of us used to have long long long fights at night over who should get to sleep on your bed.

Those memories didnt give me peace in my first few years in Singapore. I missed you and daddy and meimei so much that I would cry every night before I fall asleep out of tiredness. I used to hate Singapore for not having winter as back home. Winter, to me was so full of you and Dad ( Some how I hardly retain any memory of my sister that is associated with winter. She has always been summer sunshine and bright mornings). We had cold winds, real cold winds that slipped under layers of warm clothings and caused us to shudder. How I liked that! That was why I hated Singapore and I hated the separation and I hated myself...My greatest wish was to go home to be with you. I used to have a recurring dream about me being admitted to hospital and you had to bring me home...I enjoyed playing it out in my mind, only to wake up to the reality of undone Literature Assignments...I told you about what we did in school didnt I? We did this play by Shakespeares....and to think I was doing Lit when I could hardly write a proper sentence that made sense. Everything was so chaotic, so turbulent, so scary. And to think I was barely 15.

Perhaps only so great a backdrop of circumstances could enable me to see the goodness of the one and only True God. By the time I came to know Him, I had done away with most of my smugness and sense of self-importance. I was ready to give anything. I thought I could never be hurt any worse...So when Christ came I sold my heart to Him to be born into life eternal. I know I have told you all this, but you might not have understood the significance of it. Mom, you must know that all the while I was in good hands, even on that faithful Friday night in June 2003 when I called you and Dad to tell you that I didnt want to go on living. (Later I found out how worried you were, and I could actually see for myself when I went home at the end of the year - you had black rings around your eyes which wouldnt go away for months...I am sorry Mom!)

I am still writing my story. Yours didnt end when mine started. When I was smaller you told me that I was your jewel in whom you put all your hope. I have learnt my worth--as that being you so dearly love and treasure---and I have no fear of not living up to your hopes...I know what I am doing...I know where I am heading...most importantly, I have the Light that can lead me there. You, Dad, and meimei will be there with me. I wish you could see how your story and Dad's are being written everyday. Our stories are not inconsequential, but beautifully and devinely plotted with a meaning much greater than who ourselves are.

You must be sleeping right now!

In the University I am really learning a lot of very good things. I have a great time with the people whom I meet everyday. I have complete freedom around me. The great truths that I learn everyday in class, in friendships and in prayers are shaping me into someone that the Lord can use. Sometimes the pain seems unbearable, other times I feel no pain, only gladness of heart. Will you pray for me? There is a journal I wrote for all three of you in Vietnamese. It is on meimei's bookshelf, placed right in the middle of the plastic files...I hope you will read it...Those were my true thoughts and feelings, which by the grace of God, could be recorded down for you to read...May the Spirit illumine your mind to understand what is written there.

The Lord healed Daddy from his chronic gastric pain. Isnt that so wonderful? I thank Him for the three of you...He knew that you were the best people on Earth to be my family. He knew that too well, didnt He? May the angels of the LORD encamp around our home and keep you in perfect peace and from all harms. May He provide the bread you eat everyday. May you partake of His grace and be filled to the brim with goodness. Do come back to church please. Do come back. Do not fear what you can see. Do not fear the bondages that seem to be, because in Jesus we can all truly be free. In His Name I break all ungodly fears and disbelief that may exist in you and around you. In the Name of the Lord, be free.

Have a great day ahead Mom.
Do tell the three young guys in your department about Jesus. I remember they came to our place to see me once. I think they are very much in need of salvation.
When you travel, could you pray? Do you remember the Lord's prayer? Pray according to that first... and the Lord will guide your thoughts to Him. Pray for your driver as well. Are you co-workers still giving you a hard time because you believe in the Lord? Be strong Mom! I will remember to pray for them too.

Mom, God loves you very much. And so do I. This is for you:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her work bring her praise at the city gate.
Proverb 31:30-31

posted by Anna @ 11:49 PM   0 Comments

...Happy Birthday Zining...


Hi all,


Today I stayed at home and by two miracles I could finish 1. My Critique Paper and 2. My group's presentation for Bioethics position paper. Big miracles, arent they, considering how little time I had for preparation? Pei Fen and Kenneth would better be happy about what I have done up for our tmr presentation...Hahaha the Banana is pretty effective isnt she? Cool ideas from you guys though! Thanks so much for all that brainstorming in school this morning!!!

I told you, God is great!

Happy birthday to Zining!

I wish I were free to go play with you guys but I am really sorry I will be stuck in school for meeting for about the entire day. Whenever I had no meeting I will have to coordinate more meetings or present some stuff for the other people who will most probably be anxiously planning their next meeting or presentation or stuff like that...you got the picture! Birthday present will come soon. I wonder how I can pass it to you though. I do have things to tell you...but I guess you are not the sort who would like to receive letters... I will see what I can do. If only you would come back to us, somehow, some day...I have missed you. How have you been actually? Perhaps I was part of the reason you left us. I dont think I was the whole of it---but a part, an important part though. I wonder if I would act differently or do some more for you, or teach you more things...I wonder what I did wrong...Maybe i didnt do anything wrong...Maybe I just didnt care for you enough...Maybe..
I hope you still read the Word of God. And we havent stopped praying for you. And we wont. We will uphold you daily in prayers so that the mighty power of the Lord will act in you to transform your mind into newness of life. We pray daily that you are safe from illness, emotional bondages, pain, and all the evil of this world. We pray that you are sanctified through and through as God brings into your life Godly people to teach and instruct you. We pray against the spirit of slumber, laziness, apathy so that God can fill you with abundant joy as you go to school for God's glory. We pray for your parents to have peace of mind, which sets them free to receive His grace, so that the day will come when He becomes the Lord of your whole household. We pray that whatever seed that has been planted in your heart will not be taken away by the evil one, or by the deceitfulness of this world, because we yearn to see it bear fruit for God, fruit of rightteousness, of wisdom, of love. We pray that you may have peace when you lie down and when you sit and when you stand, because we know that it is by God's love that you are held together and functioning. We pray that the Lord forgives you if you ever take His grace in vain, if you ever doubt His love, if you ever act as if the Blood of Jesus shed for you is of not significance. We pray that darkness will give way to bright daylight, and mourning to dancing. We have been praying like that, day in and day out. We trust that the Lord will never let you slip out of His hand.

It is 1:28 and perhaps I should rest.
Everyday is a new day. Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever.

posted by Anna @ 1:01 AM   0 Comments

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

...back on track...

I am down with flu. I am so happy that I got the viral infection.

Because viral infection means I was early today at Oasis to talk with Pastor and Uncle David and Debby and auntie Kerry before prayer meeting started. Because viral infection means I wont be running about for the rest of the week like a headless chicken trying to complete projects. Because viral infection means I have to stop living as if I could do everything on my own strength, for walking about without a migraine is really such a great blessing from God.



And perhaps it also means that I will have time to be more focused in praying for:



1.Mom, Dad and meimei, the ones I dearly love and long to be with

2.Sam, Zining, Stella, Amy, Xin Rui, Ying Xian, WeiXiang, Terence, Jed, Rou Juan, Miao Ying, Boon Chun, James, Bryan, Jason, Titus, Yoke Ming, Mei Shan, Ricky, Hong Wei, Hong Chun, Hong Kiat, Parvitar, Jasbir, Yi Xuan, the harvest of the Lord, for which I am a labourer

3.Rickson, Benson, Poh Guan, Sheryl, Jesslyn, Jonathan, Nathan, Joash, Asher, Elias, Jeremiah, Ryan, Reagene, the shoots which one day will become mighty in His name

4. Wei Jie, Xavier, Denise, Farhana, Kausalyaa, Yadanar, Wei Qian, the ones I teach with the gift the Lord gave to me

5.Uncle Chee Khiam, auntie Lay Eng, Timo, Gabby, Christina, Ji Hang, Deborah, Editha, Mellisa, Evelyn, Prisca, Pin Chian whom I pray with every Thursday in NUSH, whom I am learning to embrace with love

6. Charmaine, Lilian, Vivian, Yee Lyn, Yun Wei, Elaine, Ariati, Chriswini, Marshella, Yun Ze, Audrey, Grace, Yu Heng, Jacque, Redgie, Mei Ying, JingXuan, Song Yi, Jia He, Ee Leng, Joy, Jeanny, Julianna, Eunice, Wei Chao, Mirabella, Asra, Tania, Yun Ying, Evelyn, the people staying on my floor, who experience the peace of the Lord too every time I ask the Holy Spirit to spread his wings of protection over the whole floor.

7. Uncle Lawrence, auntie Kerry, Uncle David, Auntie Margaret, Uncle KeeHong, Pastor, Uncle Earnest, Auntie Emily, Uncle Chris, Auntie Cynthia, Uncle Eddy, Auntie Dorothy, Uncle Edmund, Auntie YY, Uncle BoonKiat, Auntie Amy, Uncle Lai, Auntie Gek Kee, Auntie Hup Kheng, Auntie Jenny, Uncle Peter, Auntie Shiao Ying, my co-workers in the kingdom of God

8. Dzung, Long, Mimosa, Hoang, Hai, Tra, Bao, Mac Duy, An, who have been my beloved ever since the light of his kingdom dawned unto me. I have great hope in you, that one day we will be side by side in his church for our own people

9. Hieu, Huy, Lan Chi, Ngoc Lan, Phuong, Long, Trong, Khuong, Kim, Dinh, Phuong Ha, whom I fellowship with, share with, laugh with, whom the Lord has entrusted to me to break the good news, who are very special to me.

10. Uyen, Trang to whom I owe more than just lessons, but also unconditional love

11. Van Anh, Oanh, my beginning, my true friends who stood by me no matter what, who will also stand by me in defense of the gospel of light

12. Bich Phuong, Thanh, Chi Thuy, Minh Anh, Anh Tuan, Thanh Tuyen, Thuy Tien, who will be won over the Christ just as He has promised to me, that my whole household will be saved

13. Hien, Chi Dzung, Em Ngoc, Em Tuan Anh, co Song Huong, co Yen, Bac Hai, bac Tu, bac Thuan, the future church of God in Haiduong, only if I remain faithful in their doubts

14. My future husband, his family, his health, his heart for the Lord, his love for his people. I want to see miracles from the Lord together with you.

15. My future church which I will plant by the power of God, that it will be rooted only in love and righteousness

16. Kshitij, Smrithi, Preetika, Minh, Thai my management groupmates: God's love for you runs deeper and farther than what we can do together this semester. We will have all the fun in the world shooting video and enjoying each others' company; but the Lord has greater plans to prosper you, to give you firm hope and a sure future

17. Weiling, Kim, Chun Guan, Kentloong: we found ourselves together on this part of the journey, and we found ourselves together with Botox and marketing and all that business of vanity. This to me is joy already. but I hope to find you on that last day before His throne, when we can really rejoice with indefinitely greater joy. Will see you there.

18. Pei Fen, Kenneth: it doesnt matter that the presentation is due this thursday, for my God is a great God and He will help all of us.

19. Quyet, Yokeshan, Deanna, Joleen, Shriyanka, Carmen Ching: we have more to do together than any of you would ever imagine. I know this. And I know this well, because I have been praying for you

20. Anna, Charles Lee, Jonathan Liang, WuChin, Fang Wei, Benee, Melvin Ong, Nha Ly, Qimin, Ai Pheng, Laura, Edward, Clarissa Poh, Keith: move on up, I am with you.

21. Kenneth, WanYi, Gwen, Guang Zhao: We face the same sort of daily temptations in the university. I understand your tiredness. But hey, that is why we are together. Let's only do what is worthwhile.

22. Thuy, Hong Nga, Bich Ngoc: I wouldnt believe in chance, so I have faith that the Lord brought you to me to show you His love. If you thought there would be nothing I could do for you in your midst of busyness, uncertainty and fear, you are dead wrong. Because I can pray. And my prayers will move mountains.

23. Uncle Raman, Lily, Sandi, Chu Perng, Ms Leng, Mr Wu Jiong, Wu Jiang, Ms Stella, Ms Sarah Yong, Ms Susan, Kyaw Ko, Mr Lim, Tang Yang, Jeffrey: perhaps one day we will sit down with late-night tea and bible verses and personal testimonies...Because of that vision I shall pray for you. Going against all odds? Going against all odds!

24. Matthew, Feodore, Liu Na, Xuan Yao, Meng Tian, Teng Jie, Jenny, Ashoke, Teshil: Keep on up, for the mountains are just the beginning. The real journey requires far more than what we are capable of giving. Keep on up for the suffering is worth bearing. May you find the Lord as you learn humility on the mountains.

25. And pray for my own heart to be right. ' I have hidden your Word in my heart, so that I will not sin against you!' Psalm 119:11

posted by Anna @ 10:41 PM   0 Comments

Monday, September 17, 2007

...the prayer...

Lord, make me an instrument of peace.Where there is hatred, may I bring love;Where there is offense, forgiveness;Where there is doubt, faith;Where there is desperation, may I bring hope;Where there is sadness, let me bring joy;Allow me to console, rather than to be consoled;To understand, rather than to be understood;To love, rather than be loved;Because, giving is receiving;Because, it is in forgiving, that we are forgiven;It is in dying, that we are born to eternal life."

posted by Anna @ 10:38 PM   0 Comments

...the final analysis...


People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; ...Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; ...Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; ...Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; ...Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; ...Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; ...Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; ...Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; ...Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway

posted by Anna @ 10:34 PM   0 Comments

...persevering...


Hi all,


I had to do gym alone today because none of the girls could make it on Monday after 6pm for this week. It was thoroughly tiring I tell you...but I think my timing has improved quite a bit for planks. 'Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, character hope and hope does not disappoint...for God has poured out His love on us...' I will have to persevere for my Management, English and Marketing projects too, though it seems there is so little time for me nowadays...I will make the best out of every opportunity to do what is good, for the time is evil and there is so much distraction out there. Right now I am literally taking a break from doing things, just to spend some time with the people I love, i.e.you guys. (It's unlikely that you are a stranger and you are reading this--but if you are, do leave a note so that I can pray for you.), just to tell you about life about truth about love...things that dont really matter to you if you dont know me.


Mountaineering is teaching me alot. I cant tell you how important it is to me now. The strain in my body keeps me reminded constantly of this race for the LORD which I am running. I am training and running as one who wants to get the prize which the LORD has promised good to me. Must not be afraid of pain, must not be afraid of failure, must not be afraid of pressure, must not be afraid of other people's perceptions of what I say and do. The truth is always the truth; I cant compromise on what the LORD has commanded me to live by. Some how I need to learn to die to myself. The part of me that doesnt like it is still Anna. Do you understand? Do you know how it is?


Must get back to 'The Twelve Angry Men' analysis now. Pray for me to live by the truth.

The grace of the LORD be with you all.


P/S: Ying Xian (if you happen to read this) thanks for your gift yesterday. I still keep everything you have given to me...They are becoming quite a large collection soon. Haha I have found a red box to keep all of them in...perhaps I should show you the next time you come. When is 'AnnaBanana' coming out? Could I place an order please? =). Meanwhile, enjoy cleaning windows at home!

posted by Anna @ 9:42 PM   0 Comments

...Letter from Hongkong Part III...

From: Anna

To: Quynh Anh

Date: 17 September 07

Dear Quynh Anh,

Awww... I dunno what to say that is comforting. I'm coming back next summer! :) Doesn't sound very convincing though. I'm on the internet now! Haha. :) I mean, I just found out two days ago how to connect my computer to the LAN connection point in my hall so I'm quite happy that I can get relatively easier internet access these days. Only that on the weekends I move out to stay with my grandma (who lives alone and understandably would be quite lonely) and she doesn't have internet access.

School is I can see equally bewildering, new and interesting for you! Whilst also lonely too. =( A week of hall life and I'm beginning to see glimpses of how it's like. I sleep around 1 to 2 am now, get up at 8 for classes at 9.30 (because the shuttle bus only comes at 9.05 and 9.15, my hall's a ten minute drive downhill from the main campus). I don't know if you can fully comprehend what hall life is here at HKU, because HKU has its own unique hall culture (it is a culture) which according to my hallmates no other university in hong kong has. They make you participate in hall events into the wee hours of the night. As they say, it is not a residence, it is a hall. So because of these numerous activities I tend to spend lots of time in the law library studying so that I don't get bothered once I'm back in my dorm room. Funny isn't it. And yes, at 10 pm the library closes, I queue for the mini bus back to hall and on that winding hill road when I catch glimpses of HK's brilliant skyline sitting all alone I get nostalgic and I think of home, my family, my sis and my friends.

Your management teacher sounds like an interesting fella, and don't worry about schoolmates who are too tense dear. University is another time to grow I should think. I never really talked very much in tutorials back in AC and I hell as regretted it afterwards, so now I make a conscientious effort to speak up. Funny, I seem to have switched personalities because I'm now rather vocal in class! Haha. But no matter because my fellow law classmates are just grabbing any chance to speak up and voice their opinions too! Tutorials are very interactive and I like the feel of having so many eager classmates around me.

Right now I have accumulated a stack of notes to cover for tutorial so I will have to quit the internet and go down to the main campus law library again to check up some cases. I should have internet access (wireless) there as well so when I'm done and I still have time before I have to rush back home I'll type you part 2 of this email ya? Otherwise I think I can manage typing again on sunday, monday or tuesday.

Till then, remember that where the will of God leads you the grace of God will keep you. I am certain that He will give you new directions in life and new people to help, nurture, grow and share with. But I'm always here through the internet. :)

Take care dearie,

Anna

posted by Anna @ 3:03 PM   0 Comments

Saturday, September 15, 2007

...the old rugged cross...

The grace of the LORD Jesus be with God's people.
Revelation 22:21

Some days I just need a good cry.

Come unto HIM, you who labour and are heavy laden. Take His yoke upon yourselves and learn from HIM for His yoke is easy and HIS burden is light.
The old rugged cross
On a hill far away, stood an old rugged Cross
The emblem of suff'ring and shame
And I love that old Cross where the dearest and best
For a world of lost sinners was slain
So I'll cherish the old rugged Cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown
Oh, that old rugged Cross so despised by the world
Has a wondrous attraction for me
For the dear Lamb of God, left his Glory above
To bear it to dark Calvary
So I'll cherish the old rugged Cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown
In the old rugged Cross, stain'd with blood so divine
A wondrous beauty I see
For the dear Lamb of God, left his Glory above
To pardon and sanctify me
So I'll cherish the old rugged Cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown
To the old rugged Cross, I will ever be true
Its shame and reproach gladly bear
Then He'll call me some day to my home far away
Where his glory forever I'll share
So I'll cherish the old rugged Cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged Cross
And exchange it some day for a crown

posted by Anna @ 12:47 AM   0 Comments

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

...Prayer meeting...

I had quality time with Joey and uncle David today over fish porridge till 11pm. I want to remember every thing in our conversation...but I am going to write them down in my hand-written journal. I will reveal its content to you when you need to know.

Please pray for antie Hup Kheng. Please pray for Oasis. I am going to listen to the LORD. When I wake up tomorrow I will be pure.

Goodnight!

posted by Anna @ 12:34 AM   0 Comments

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

...Faith...


1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 2This is what the ancients were commended for.
3By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. 4By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.
5By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. 6And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
7By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.
8By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. 9By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. 10For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
11By faith Abraham, even though he was past age—and Sarah herself was barren—was enabled to become a father because he[a]considered him faithful who had made the promise. 12And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.
13All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. 14People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. 15If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
17By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, 18even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring[b] will be reckoned."[c] 19Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.
20By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.
21By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.
22By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions about his bones.
23By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king's edict.
24By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. 25He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. 26He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. 27By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. 28By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.
29By faith the people passed through the Red Sea[d] as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.
30By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the people had marched around them for seven days.
31By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.[e]
32And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, 33who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. 36Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. 37They were stoned[f]; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.
39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. 40God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

Hebrews 13.

posted by Anna @ 3:13 PM   0 Comments

...Jesus, keep me near the cross...




I am back!=)

I have sorted things out already. Everything is in place right now, at least for now. Last night was busy: after training I rushed back to hostel to get my marketing notes and then immediately rushed off in a cab to Fort Canning to see my uncle. I spent about half an hour with him at the reception area, talking to him about studies, about going to India next May for the Mountaineering Course, about random things that I thought were funny to him. It was such a good time. I expressed some concern about the sort of person that I would become after so much of education; and he stopped me right there. He told me not to think about it. 'It will come', he said, ' but you must not think about it right now---you must not be distracted. If you are studying you must not be distracted'. I think he was right. He wasnt right in the sense that he intended it to be in, but he was right in the way I understood him. I must not think so much about things beyond the scope of my age and my time and my space--or else distractions will come jumping on me like wild animals.

Carmen messaged but I didnt reply to her because I was in the midst of my conversation with him. She messaged again a while later to say that perhaps I was just too busy and that she missed talking to me. Maybe I should write her a card. I really should. Sometime soon. I got home at about 11pm, had my shower and was about to go up to 7th floor to do my mid-week laundry when I got a message from this JC kid who needed clarification before Prelims paper this morning. So I was back in my room with warm milk and wet hair and marketing notes lying on my table at about 12 midnight. And then I thought about Anna, hence the last blog entry. You know how much I wish she were here. She is such an angel.

I went to marketing class this morning and managed to pull off a speech about MacDonald's in India for my group despite me being the only member of the group who didnt do the assignment. That was so much grace really. But I have been feeling guilty that I have made so little time for HIM. I felt asleep with Pastor See's Tuesday prayer note in my hand. I have been too tired for HIM. Which doesnt justify any of you---for not having time for HIM. You must make every effort to keep close to the cross, every effort possible. Because the time is evil.



We are running again later. I am seeing them at Oasis after that. Let me remind you, it is a Tuesday. Tuesday is my favourite day of the week.

posted by Anna @ 2:27 PM   0 Comments

Monday, September 10, 2007

...letter from Singapore...


From: Quynh Anh
To: Anna in Hongkong
Singapore 11 September

Anna,

I am so sorry for this late reply...I know the last one was so ambarassingly short and absent-minded. I have been encouraged listening to your thoughts about university, and the law faculty in particular. In AC, you used to tell me alot about how you felt about everything, and I was always listening...I never felt that there was a need for me to add anything, for whatever comment you gave was sufficient on its own, sufficient for both of us. I told you once in junior college that I had been taking you for granted---now I really understand what my words meant then. I didnt know one day you would disappear just like that, out of Singapore, I didnt anticipate your departure at all, because for the whole time that we were friends in AC, you were always there for me. You were there for me before my first Sunday School lesson as a teacher at Preaching Point. You were there for me in countless moments when I could not answer myself, which were more frequent than I am even capable of remembering. You were there before and after Senior's night, putting up with my fickle-mindedness about going for it. Why did you become such a constant in my life and then disappear? Why did you?

I never really had time to think about you leaving me...and perhaps that was why I could smile and laugh and read Psalm 23 to you at East Coast Park despite your flight in a matter of days. I should have kept more of you with me...I should have been more intentional about keeping memories of you...I dont know. I think I am missing you now. Badly. Very badly. Now whom am I going to talk to about things that matter to us? I cant just go to the canteen during recess and expect someone to come running and putting her arms around me like you did. I cant meet you after school and tell you how I like this and that person very much, about what I wish we could do one day...

Now I find myself falling in love with certain things and people around me, my English Critique Teacher, for instance...and I wish you were here in Engin canteen with me (such an unlikely place for you, isnt it). I want to tell you about my CCA, about what I discovered in my Sunday School lesson last week, about this dragon-boat boy in class who was so tense today in discussion group with me and how I suspected it was lack of confidence, about my Management lecturer who speaks with the tamed accent who says everyone is cool including Philip Zimbardo the guy in the US who conducted the Lucifer Effect experiment, and yes I want to talk with you over ice-milo about that experiment, about how I think whatever they found was nothing new to us two...I am just plain missing you...and I am hating myself for taking you so lightly. You were among the most beautiful people who ever entered my life---wherever you were, there was wholesomeness, peace, beauty, humility, true humility the sort the world hardly got to see...No wonder John Ying was so crazy about you. You know why I knew? Because they talked about him going after you in my Econs class...But I just couldnt care less, we always had more interesting things to talk about.

I also want to tell you about my new RA job at the high school hostel. We did have a party last month with pink hair spray, the one you suggested to me, but we didnt do the lollypop thingy. But I am going to make sure we do it one day okay...somewhere...at a party where everyone goes clean crazy...clean crazy, you know what I mean!

It is 12:36 into the night and I am missing you.
Quynh Anh

posted by Anna @ 11:57 PM   0 Comments

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

...contemplating silence...

Father,
I am scared. I really am. Growing up in your palms hurts, badly sometimes...Will you see me through? Will I let you see me through? Am I even capable of that?

I am in the midst of putting all the little things in my life into the right perspective.
Will let you know once I am done.

Take care, still. And I love you...I kind of know those of you who read my blog...I dont write it for the world to read, but for you...Peace be with you.

posted by Anna @ 10:00 PM   2 Comments

...He meant what He said...

The command ‘Be ye perfect’ is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible. He is going to make us into creatures who can obey that command. He said (in the Bible) that we were ‘gods’ and He is going to make good His words. If we let Him---for we can prevent Him, if we choose---He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a god or goddess, a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright and stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly (though, of course, on a smaller scale) His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful; but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said.

C.S.L

posted by Anna @ 12:11 PM   0 Comments

Monday, September 3, 2007

...goodnight...


'And so to us the totality of love is what we feel. But to really love someone requires commitment, fidelity and vulnerability'
- Come be my light


Dearest beloved,

It's okay. It's okay with me that you fail. It's okay with me that you fail yourself and run. It's okay with me even if you have failed me. I wont tell you what I have felt tonight, about faith, about love, about committment; I wont, because I know deep down in your heart you have understood.

Dont think that I ignore your pain. Life must have been tough to you...how does it feel today? How does it feel every day being betrayed by the universe. How does it feel realising every moment that your expectations are never met, that the standards of this world seem to belong in a landfill? How does it feel?

How does it feel when people whom you like never seem to have time for you? How does it feel not being understood? How does it feel when people seem to never give you a listening ear? How does it feel meeting the same people every day and not being able to truly be yourself with them, just because if you were to be yourself they would laugh and dismiss you as they always did? How does it feel not living your true dream because you have to be so self-conscious in a world of people who are equally self-conscious, judgemental and short-sighted.
How does it feel tonight being so thoroughly angry at me for not giving you my time?

How does it feel?

Really. Inside your heart, deep down, how are you?

Here is my apology: do forgive me, do look past my limitations because I am a human after all---(the fact that you love me has already made me a very special human in fact, but still a human no doubt), forgive me for not knowing what to say in all that silence, forgive me that I have failed you, some how...

I wish you would read this before you go to sleep tonight. I hope you would listen to my advice to spend some time being silent to yourself. Drive the noise out of your burdened heart. I can feel the waves tossing about in your inner being...Purge out of your mind thoughts of anger, of angst, of hatred; and fill it, little child, with love-God's love for you.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily-angered, iy keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians13:1-8

Rest well.


posted by Anna @ 10:19 PM   0 Comments

...the new men...

Already the new men are dotted here and there all over the earth. Some, as I have admitted, are hardly recognisable: but others can be recognised. Every now and then one meets them. Their very voices and faces are different from ours; stronger, quieter, happier, more radiant. They begin where most of us leave off. They are, I say, recognisable; but you must know what to look for. They will not be very like the idea of 'religious people' which you have formed from your general reading. They do not draw attention to themselves. You tend to think that you are being kind to them when they are really being kind to you. They love you more than other men do, but they need you less. ( We must get over wanting to be needed: in some goodish people, especially women, that is the harder of all temptations to resist.) They will usually seem to have alot of time: you will wonder where it comes from. When you have recognised one of them, you will recognise the next one much more easily. And I strongly suspect ( but how should I know?) that they recognise one another immediately and infallibly, across every barrier of colour, sex, class, age and even creeds. In that way, to become holy is rather like joining a secret society. To put it at the very lowest, it must be great fun.

C.S.L.

It must be great fun. It must be really really great fun. That's why I am trading everything that I have. Alot of you will think it is irrational the way I am going to live my life. But let me tell you, it is worth it. It will be worth it.

posted by Anna @ 7:40 PM   0 Comments